documenting life; #adventuresundays; consumed by wanderlust; hunting dreams; forever young.
child of the universe.
and so the ash falls from the memories that burn, peacefully and silently. but it becomes the ground becomes the plants and trees and all the world around me.
it becomes my feelings about life and
and strangers on park benches, and fathers pushing babies in prams through shopping centres. baristas who know your name, know the kind of milk you take. and then there are all those travellers you meet and love along the way.
in kindness and goodness and altogether loveliness, i’ll make more memories, everyday. as if it always mattered, it always does, it always will. i’ll make beautiful memories. take photos with my heart. capture conversations with my mind. flood my soul with feelings and saturate my entire being with love.
memories to ashes. so peaceful and so silent.
"There are two people you’ll meet in your life. One will run a finger down the index of who you are and jump straight to the parts of you that peak their interest. The other will take his or her time reading through every one of your chapters and maybe fold corners of you that inspired them most. You will meet these two people; it is a given. It is the third that you’ll never see coming. That one person who not only finishes your sentences, but keeps the book."
dawn dawning dawned
soon this beach will be scattered with people but for now i have it just to myself. just me some birds some flies some wind, the sand the sea some trees and shells.
what i put out i get right back, so my energy wanes and explodes maybe where it’s not supposed to. i take a step the other way and recognise that day-to-day i should find something stronger. something less of an option and prioritise the heart that needs above the heart that wants.
yesterday they all reached out. yesterday home was on my mind. yesterday i needed them and they needed me and we needed each other so we found each other, like we know we can.
it’s early it’s morning i sit by the sea watching ripples and blueness and whitewash and waves [they don’t compare to the waves i left].
and i think.
until now i’d never seen hawaii in the summertime. i’d never felt the pull of the sun so high in such a blue sky. the power the vibes the heat.
i need to change my focus.
there’s a restorative power buried deep in the earth on this island. it seeps through the grass into the plants and the trees, to ease the slightest feelings of uncertainty
i felt it again, just this morning, it came rustling through as the wind in the trees while i sat in a room between the mountain and the sea, my mind tracing along the curve between yin and yang. the rain came before the sun shone and i basked in the brilliance of a bending moment. a moment that lasted longer than i’d ever dare to ask it to, that came and went so gentle and slow.
i’m back. in a home, in a place i know. and i’m looking for more as i always do. and i’m looking to settle as i never do.
i’m looking as always
i’m settling as never.
but now i find myself on the edge of a world i just started to get to know. one that seems so big when i feel so small and so small when i’m here, on this island, and i meet people who know people or know something my heart desperately needed to know.
hawaii pulls us together, brings us back and into ourselves. so just as the cycle will always continue, i will find myself on the inside of this very energy.
because that’s all there is.
"because you aren’t afraid to kiss the dirt
(and consequently dare to climb the sky)"
and it fell all over me like glittering sunlight dripping from the sky into the ocean where we lay
and it raced through the millions of roadways and rivers and crevasses and mountains
and it lay down next to me on a mattress made of memories made of yesterdays and who-knows-when’s
i’m too ready
we were separated
by salt water
by space and air
by the centre console of his car.
but we remembered - we never were very good at keeping friends with any of that space between.
so i change and break, and move and stay and fall and fly and hurt and stumble, and i get right back up. those moments of shifting and deciding what’s right or worthy or wrong or hopeful will bring resolve to my life my path my future.
i’ll find the answers in the roots, in the arteries of the empathy and the reason for it all.
why do the pieces fall in the places they do?
why do they fall at all?
i make patterns from the chaos and pictures in the litter. this life is beaming with possibilities so open, endless. infinite. i choose what i choose and i follow the lead of my heart. her beat lays braille, she’s the compass i read, wide-eyed and willingly. and the touch pulls me gently, the faintest flutter, the air in a butterfly’s wings.
she’ll pave a way through the wilderness of this wonderful, beautiful, magical world.
"My heart swings back and forth between the need for routine and the urge to run."
take this fear and throw it on the fire of my imagination. i’ll watch it burn and turn to embers. i’ll watch it become ash. it’s settled on my skin, just heavy enough to notice, just light enough for the wind to take it with its breath as i finally let it go.
we’re all scared. life is daunting and overwhelming. life is unexpected and unrelenting. so what do we do with the fear when it rises and bubbles? how do we pull it from all the places it doesn’t belong and let it be only a reminder of the courage and freedom that it perpetuates deep within us every second of every day?
we do the things we long to do, the things that burn holes in our desire. that change us and open our minds in no way we thought possible. we learn. we discover. we chase our loves and bare our souls to this crazy, beautiful world. we say yes, with wholeheartedness, to everything good and kind.
we take the chances our ego warns us of. we pull ourselves out and over the edge and we fall into the love all around us, within us, smiling and screaming with joy and hopefulness, as we find our wings and fly. surrender to your life and everything you want so deeply, wholly, surely.
be fearless, be brave. let love be life and life be love.